My Dad

I just wanted to put this on here for some of you who read this. My dad had surgery last Thursday, Dec. 10th to reverse his colostomy. He had no complications during or after the surgery. His Dr. was very pleased all went as planned. He was able to come home Wed. Dec. 16th after he passed gas and had a poo! Who would have ever thought farting and pooing would be such an exciting thing!!?? Sorry, dad...hope this doesnt embarrass you! haha He is doing well and is very happy this crazy stuff is all behind him. He still has a pretty long recovery but that is a lot better than what we thought it was going to be like. It is weird to think just 4-5 months ago we were told he had cancer and he was going to have to get chemo./radiation. Back in this post is where we all found out is wasnt cancer. Before that we all were 100% sure this was going to be a long, hard journey for my dad. Now that this is all over for him we all need to be grateful for the things we have. HE needs to realize that he has been given a second chance at life, pretty much. And my mom needs to see just how sexalicious my dad is! hahah!!! :D God is good for providing us w/ this miracle, for seeing my dad had the strength to go through this and for keeping the complications away! I hope my dad sees that too!!!

Miracle

My mom and I were at the hospital visiting w/ my dad this eve. When we arrived he was sitting in bed, watching TV. His nose tube that went into his belly was gone. His hair and face were washed. He looked great and I was very happy w/ what I saw. I felt relieved! His nurse came in and emptied his catheter drain...kidneys are fully functioning, still. He was drinking water. And was told tomorrow he can start on jello and more clear liquids. This also made me very happy to hear all this!! I felt, that after I left the hospital I could maybe get a good night sleep and not worry so much about my dad. Not worry about how much pain he is in. How he is holding up being in the hospital, again. How he is progressing. How lonely he must feel just sitting there all day mostly by himself. I was pleased and knew his road to recovery was really beginning.

After being there about 30 mins. Dr Tiru (I love this man) came in the room and shut the door. He looked right at my dad and said, "I have GOOD news for you. You have no cancer." Astonished and shocked we listened to him explain that he had diverticulitis. He said he has never seen anything like it before. He is amazed that the mass in his colon was that large and it was all scar tissue that formed. His sigmoid colon was blocked completely (they couldn't even get the colonoscope passed it). Not to mention it was pressing on his small intestine and caused a fistula. In return, that is what caused the abscess in the first place! Dr. Tiru said that they double checked everything to make sure they didn't miss something. And not a sign of cancer was found. His lymph nodes were swollen because of infection. I felt like I was in a movie. One that you watch and at the end you say to yourself, "that was good, but stuff like that just doesn't happen. It's too good to be true." Dr. Tiru said all the Dr.'s that were in on his case were amazed. It looked like cancer and felt like cancer. They all saw the Cat Scan and MRI. They saw how sick my dad looked. And they all said it was cancer. When Dr.'s are amazed...you know it is amazing!

At that moment my dad had tears in his eyes. As did my mom and I. Dr. Tiru hugged my mom and dad. He said they just have to get my dad better/healed now. His nutrition level needs to be higher so he will stay on TPN for a little longer.

I am overjoyed at all of this. I am so grateful for what I have witnessed...a true miracle. But I am more grateful that my dad will not have to go through any more. The tough stuff is done with. I hope he heals quickly.

I love you dad! I am so proud of you for going through this! I hope you realize you are a product of a miracle!

More DAD news

Today my dad was admitted to the hospital. He is going to be having surgery on Monday. Finally, things are going forward w/ this! Such a relief for him...he is more than ready to have this behind him. As are we too :) I do not know exactly why he was admitted today (2 days before his surgery). Possibly for the Dr.'s to try and get his nutrient levels up w/ 24 hr. TPN (as opposed to 8 hr. TPN at home). Maybe to run some last minute tests. Who knows! Dr. T said he is going to go in and repair the fistula in my dad's small intestine. Cut out the mass in his colon and do a colonoscopy during the surgery to see if there is any good tissue left in his colon. If there is enough, he will re-sect it. If not, he will remove all of his colon and my dad will have a colostomy for the rest of his life. Hopefully this is the worse case scenario!!! Dr. T will also remove as many lymph nodes as possible. As of last Cat Scan, done back in July, the cancer did not spread to his liver or lungs. Hopefully(again) this is still the case. The Dr.s do not really know what they are going to find in there. Because of the abscess he had initially and since they couldn't do a colonoscopy because the mass was too big. They have nothing to go by. Maybe they will do an MRI or something to give them a better idea of what they are going to find?! Either way, I am just so happy this is going to be out of the way. What a long awaited surgery.

My dad has been quite a trooper through all of this. I am more than proud of him. For hating anything medical related he has been super brave!! He is still really skinny and several nurses/Dr.s have said his nutritional levels are not very good. They even said he could not handle chemo. right now. If he was healthy enough I am pretty sure he would be getting chemo. before surgery. But that just isn't the way this is working. I am glad they are doing surgery first. I think everyone else is too. He needs this cancer out of him!!

Please say a prayer or 2 for him. He needs strength to pull through this. I have no doubt he will make it through surgery. I just hope he heals smoothly and quickly. He does not need another set back.

Love you dad! Hang in there. We are all pulling for you :)

My dad

Again, who ever has time please pray for my dad! He gets his colonoscopy tomorrow and things have not been going too smoothly for him. Thank you my few readers :) I appreciate it!!

Down in the dumps

This morning my mom called me as she left the hospital from visiting my dad. She said she talked to the DR. Well, actually it was the intern of my dads DR. (DR. in my book either way). He said they were sending my dad home in the next few days. His PICC was staying in so he could be fed that way (TPN). Also they will continue his antibiotics via the PICC too. He has a vacuum like thing attached to his abdominal incision (the part that was previously packed w/ gauze) to suck out all the infection and to heal it faster. This link describes it. My mom was not too happy they decided to send him home this quickly w/ all his attachments. She started to cry and just said what was on her mind. She has to work. There is no way around it. She feels terrible having my dad home alone all day. They had visiting nurses lined up but she only had a few days left due to the insurance. And my mom is not a nurse at all. She knows she couldnt handle changing all that stuff herself. Can you imagine emptying a canister filled w/ bacterial puss like infected smelly fluid that came out of someones gut?! Gag-o-rama!! She even went on to say how we dont even have a 'diagnosis' yet. No one has told her anything or what's to come or what they will be dealing w/ down the road, etc... She told me the intern just looked at her, shocked, and said, "m'am, your husband has cancer." There ya have it. Cancer! It is so different when you hear it then it is just worrying if you/someone has it. It was my dad's biggest fear. Obviously, we were sorta of expecting it to be cancer. A large mass in your colon isnt promising. Esp. w/ his family history. Literally, everyone on his side of the immediate family dealt w/ cancer. His brother. His father, who later died of Parkinsons disease. And his mother who lost her battle w/ recurring breast cancer. The intern explained that the mass was so big that my dad will need chemo/radiation before he has surgery to shrink it. It most likely started growing as a polyp maybe 10 yrs. ago. It does not seem to have spread to any other organs. His CTscan showed his liver and lungs were clear. That's a good thing (to me atleast). Intern told my parents that my dad will not make it if they do not remove it. They have to wait until the infection is cleared up to start the treatments. They are hoping in about 3-4 wks he will be ready to go. However, like I said in my previous posts, my dad is so weak right now. Hence, the TPN! And right now, he most likely could not handle anything else...no surgery or treatment. My dad has a chance to make it through this, though. But he needs to get healthier and gain weight. Mr. Intern even said that he has a hard road ahead if him and they are there to try to get him past all this and healthy again. They need his help, he NEEDS to be a fighter. He needs to stay strong and positive.

After they do the treatments they will do the surgery to remove it. Hopefully the chemo/rad. will do it's job and shrink the sucker! Hopefully my dad can handle it! At this point they do not know if he will need more treatments after surgery. They are going to remove lymph nodes too and check around for other signs of cancer while they are in there. Again, they said his CT scan showed that it didnt seem to have spread to them (or anywhere) but they are doing it as a precautionary measure. If they remove this mass, my dad has a good chance. That makes me so happy, relieved and full of joy. I am just scared to death he isnt strong enough for this, physically. If only you saw him... nothing but skin and bones.

As for now, my mom was able to get him into a home care place for about a week. More if he needs it. Not rehab or a nursing home, so to speak. It for 'short stay' patients who do not need the hospital but really arent ready to be on their own yet. Thank GOD for that. It makes less stress for my mom and suprisingly, my dad was OK with it. He will most likely be leaving the hospital on Monday and going to this new place. Sorry, I forget what it is called?! This is all I know for now. I will keep my blog updated for my small amount of readers who want to read about it.

Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers. This is a very hard time for our family. My Aunt dealing w/ her diagnosis of GBM back in April and my dad w/ his new diagnosis of 'extensive sigmoid cancer'. I hope and pray for both of them every single day. I love them both dearly. They are staples of my life. Whatever comes their way I wish them peace. I want them to both know they are so loved by many. And tons of people are praying for them. Hang in there guys! Esp. you dad...Sam already has the concept. Be strong for yourself and for you family. Love you! xoxo

Good ol' daddy-o

Tonight my mom took my dad back to the hospital. When he had his surgery, on Tues June 30th, they didnt sew him up. The packed his incision. I am not sure exactly why. I think it is b/c they are planning on going back in (to remove the mass on his colon). He has been home since last Wed, July 8. So, 1 week. He has had a visiting nurse come out and change his bandages every day. The past couple of days I think it has been oozing. Today while I was there mowing the lawn he showed the bandages to me. I did see the gauze that it was packed w/ had a light brownish color to it. My mom ended up calling his DR when she got home from work to see if this was normal. Apparently it had a very bad odor to it and it was puffy on the one side too. YUCK! His DR. said to pack a bag and go to the hospital. My mom took him this eve. he was admitted to the ER as an emergency so he did not have to wait. They did cultures of the incision. And tonight they are doing a Catscan w/ dye to see whats causing the oozing. They think it may be his bowels. Ugh, terrible! He may need another surgery. If he does get another one I am not sure they will remove his colon mass or not. He is so weak. Literally has no energey, ever. He weighs about 150lbs. He looks terrible! I have never seen my dad this thin. And my mom said since she has known him (40 yrs) he has never looked so skinny! There is skinny and there is 'sick skinny' and he is beyond sick skinny. Although, I do not understand why they think, IF the mass is cancer, that will help him gain his strength back. It's like a no win situation. Not healthy enough for surgery but not healthy enough to keep it in there either. I can honestly say my hopes are not high. I feel so bad for my dad. He is so scared!! Some people would say, it is his fault b/c he put it off so long. And I see that perspective. But just imagine if you were in this situation he is in. No matter how or why you got there it would be scary! I know I would be scared to death. My mom is scared for my dad. I am also scared for my mom. Everything is so unknown right now. But I have a feeling actually knowing more wont help the situation. What else could a mass in his colon be? Not to mention on his sheets he has at home for the nurses to sign, under diagnosis, it says, "extensive sigmoid ca."

Please keep my dad/family in your prayers if you think of it. They are so so needed right now! He may not have physical strength, but he needs spiritual strength to guide him through this time. Like my mom always says, "your dad never claimed to be a big-mocho, brave man." He may have not gone to the DR in aeons but he is a son, a friend, a father, a husband, a grandfather, an uncle, a father-in-law, a brother, a cousin, a nephew...he is very loved. And we dont want to have to miss him too! I love you dad! I hope you can make it through this...I am praying for you, as are many others.

Update on Dad

Since my last post on my dad a few things have changed. Lets see, tomorrow he is coming home. Good news...however, he does have a long road ahead of him. Since last Tuesday (his initial surgery for the abscess) he was put on IV antibiotics. He had a tube going in his nose to his stomach, I think it is called a nasogastric suction. http://www.enotes.com/medicine-encyclopedia/nasogastric-suction. That was removed on Sat. morning. He has been eating very well. Since he didnt get any food at all until the 3rd. day and even then it was only liquid for a day or so. YUCK! He has gotten a PICC line put in his arm on Sat. also. That is for his antibiotics and for nutrients. My mom said he has large bags of different colored mushy stuff that goes into his PICC to give him everything he needs to build his strength back up and help him gain weight. He is currently about 145lbs and is 6 feet tall. Skinny! His kidney failed at some point. We do not know if it was before he went to the hospital, during the surgery or after. But today he had some procedure done by the urologist to get his kidney back up and running properly. From my understanding it worked. The Urologist said he did very well in the surgery and everything looks great. My dad is still in pain from his abdominal incision. They didnt sew it back up. They just pack it shut w/ gauze since they are going to go back in to take the mass out of his colon in a few weeks. He has been walking a lot. He gets around well. And his Dr said he is doing great. My parents are going to have a visiting nurse go out to the house once a day, for a few weeks, to change his dressing on his abdomen and to give him the antibiotics via the PICC. I dont think they are sure about the food bags yet. They may not send them home w/ him. My mom will learn how to do all this, but changing the dressing is very iffy for her. I dont think I'd be able to do that either!! ha!

Overall my dad is doing well. We are all worried what the future holds for him. I mean, a mass in the colon never sounds good. The Dr. never mentioned how big it is or anything. When he has that surgery he will remove the mass along w/ part of the colon a few inches above and below. And then sew the good parts of the colon together. This article will describe it best.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002941.htm

We do not know wether he will need any further medical treatment after that or not. We pray he doesnt. He will need to go get frequent colonoscopy's after all this. Fun times! But hey, would you rather have one of them done OR have a mass growing up in your ass? As of now his spirits are good. Better than they were a week ago. I am sure he is dying to get home to take a shower...a real shower. And sleep in his own bed! Please keep him in your prayers. It was stupid of him to put off seeing any Dr. all these years and because of that he is in this position. But that isnt what is happening NOW. I am sure he is learning his lesson and he feels like a jerk for not listening to everyone. And oh how I wish this didnt happen. But we all live and learn. I could kick him, throw rocks at him, yell at him, but that doesnt take away that, right now, he is dealing with. As some dude once said, "We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."

My Dad

I dont even really know where to begin w/ this one. I'll start where I think it's best but my mind is all jumbled right now. Sorry if this doesnt make sense...My dad, Doug, HATES Dr.'s. He hates anything medical near him. No needles. No hospitals. No Dr. visits. Infact he has not been to the Dr. in atleast 35 yrs. Not one time. Seriously! He has 'white coat syndrome' as he likes to call it. He has had a hernia for about 8 yrs. It never seemed to cause him any problems until recently.

He actually did go see his family DR back in March for his hernia. But never followed up w/ any tests. He let this go so long now...and this is where it got him...

Because my mom literally made him go to the DR. today, my dad was admitted to the hospital after a brief visit w/ his family physician. In the past several months he has been complaining of not feeling well. Frequent trips to the bathroom, rapid weight loss, no appetite and pain in his stomach. He never wants to go anywhere or see anyone. He has even been uninterested in his grandchildren's lives. My mom, bless her soul, has been dealing w/ his 'negativity' for quite some time. She has been asking and asking him to go get all this checked out. He simply refused everytime. However, the Dr. took one look at his stomach today and saw a lump the size of a football. Then said he must go to the hospital NOW. He arrived at the hospital w/ my mom as his driver. They did lots of blood work and a CTscan to make sure exactly what they were looking at and how much damage his hernia caused. From what they saw his hernia was wrapped around his lower bowel. They also found a mass in his colon and something going on in his pancreas. They did the surgery around 7PM tonight. His surgeon opened him up and found an abscess, which is a large, infected, puss filled sack. He said he has never seen this before and he has no clue what caused it. He was planning on doing a biopsy or atleast looking at the mass on his colon, but because of the infection he found, he didnt want to poke around in there. They closed him up and put him on high dose antibiotics and put a drain in his stomach to drain all the extra goo out. The Dr. told us that my dad has a long road ahead of him and his stay at the hospital may be quite lenghthy. He is going to do all the tests my dad needs. He also still has to take care of the mass on his colon.

All along my mom and I have been saying that he is just unhappy and he is making himself believe he is literally dieing. Almost like it was all in his head. We didnt have pity for him because he wasnt doing anything about it. We both asked him so many times to follow up w/ the tests the Dr. wanted him to get. But he just kept refusing. I think we both knew at some point, my dad would end up in this situation. He has lost 45 lbs in 3 1/2 months. He is 6' 1" and weighs 147 lbs. completely dressed w/ shoes on. All along I have been saying that I didnt understand his logic. I still dont, to be honest. But now that I (we) are put in this position I can see why he was so scared. He was scared that exactly what is happening, would happen. I feel terrible that I thought it was all in his head. I mean, nobody wants to go to the hospital. I am sure everyone is scared when it comes to any surgery, treatment, possible outcomes, prognosis...it is all the unknown. I know I would be scared too. I just wish he had the will to put the fear aside a little early than today. We dont know what the mass is on his colon. The Dr. said it may be cancer or it may not be and they wont know for sure until they can do a biopsy. Obviously, that will be put on hold until my dad heals from the surgery he had today.

I miss the dad I once knew. He was witty, sarcastic, had a sick-but fun sense of humor. He was never very compassionate but he did care in his own way. No matter how upset you were my dad could make you laugh. My mom misses the husband she once had. For the same reasons. Hopefully after all this is over and done...we can have that fun loving guy back. I pray he pulls through this. He needs the strength to do so. Yet again, I am asking all of you to add my Dad to your prayers. It's times like these that put it all into perspective. You must appreciate all the people you have in your life. Take the good w/ the bad. I will be praying for you, dad and for Aunt Sam. Hang in there! Stay strong! Have faith! Just believe :) Love you!!!