My Dad

I dont even really know where to begin w/ this one. I'll start where I think it's best but my mind is all jumbled right now. Sorry if this doesnt make sense...My dad, Doug, HATES Dr.'s. He hates anything medical near him. No needles. No hospitals. No Dr. visits. Infact he has not been to the Dr. in atleast 35 yrs. Not one time. Seriously! He has 'white coat syndrome' as he likes to call it. He has had a hernia for about 8 yrs. It never seemed to cause him any problems until recently.

He actually did go see his family DR back in March for his hernia. But never followed up w/ any tests. He let this go so long now...and this is where it got him...

Because my mom literally made him go to the DR. today, my dad was admitted to the hospital after a brief visit w/ his family physician. In the past several months he has been complaining of not feeling well. Frequent trips to the bathroom, rapid weight loss, no appetite and pain in his stomach. He never wants to go anywhere or see anyone. He has even been uninterested in his grandchildren's lives. My mom, bless her soul, has been dealing w/ his 'negativity' for quite some time. She has been asking and asking him to go get all this checked out. He simply refused everytime. However, the Dr. took one look at his stomach today and saw a lump the size of a football. Then said he must go to the hospital NOW. He arrived at the hospital w/ my mom as his driver. They did lots of blood work and a CTscan to make sure exactly what they were looking at and how much damage his hernia caused. From what they saw his hernia was wrapped around his lower bowel. They also found a mass in his colon and something going on in his pancreas. They did the surgery around 7PM tonight. His surgeon opened him up and found an abscess, which is a large, infected, puss filled sack. He said he has never seen this before and he has no clue what caused it. He was planning on doing a biopsy or atleast looking at the mass on his colon, but because of the infection he found, he didnt want to poke around in there. They closed him up and put him on high dose antibiotics and put a drain in his stomach to drain all the extra goo out. The Dr. told us that my dad has a long road ahead of him and his stay at the hospital may be quite lenghthy. He is going to do all the tests my dad needs. He also still has to take care of the mass on his colon.

All along my mom and I have been saying that he is just unhappy and he is making himself believe he is literally dieing. Almost like it was all in his head. We didnt have pity for him because he wasnt doing anything about it. We both asked him so many times to follow up w/ the tests the Dr. wanted him to get. But he just kept refusing. I think we both knew at some point, my dad would end up in this situation. He has lost 45 lbs in 3 1/2 months. He is 6' 1" and weighs 147 lbs. completely dressed w/ shoes on. All along I have been saying that I didnt understand his logic. I still dont, to be honest. But now that I (we) are put in this position I can see why he was so scared. He was scared that exactly what is happening, would happen. I feel terrible that I thought it was all in his head. I mean, nobody wants to go to the hospital. I am sure everyone is scared when it comes to any surgery, treatment, possible outcomes, prognosis...it is all the unknown. I know I would be scared too. I just wish he had the will to put the fear aside a little early than today. We dont know what the mass is on his colon. The Dr. said it may be cancer or it may not be and they wont know for sure until they can do a biopsy. Obviously, that will be put on hold until my dad heals from the surgery he had today.

I miss the dad I once knew. He was witty, sarcastic, had a sick-but fun sense of humor. He was never very compassionate but he did care in his own way. No matter how upset you were my dad could make you laugh. My mom misses the husband she once had. For the same reasons. Hopefully after all this is over and done...we can have that fun loving guy back. I pray he pulls through this. He needs the strength to do so. Yet again, I am asking all of you to add my Dad to your prayers. It's times like these that put it all into perspective. You must appreciate all the people you have in your life. Take the good w/ the bad. I will be praying for you, dad and for Aunt Sam. Hang in there! Stay strong! Have faith! Just believe :) Love you!!!